The Perfect Mate Crisis
Is there that one-and-only special someone out there for me? Did God create a soulmate just for me? Is there a predestined man or woman out there or do I have to choose from the choices that come my way? We are asked these questions all the time, and they are the right questions to start this conversation about finding that soulmate or that perfect someone. Finding a mate can be a frustrating process most singles face today. I cannot honestly say that I have the answer to these questions, but this much I know: you can find a person that fits what you are looking for in a mate. It can lead to marriage, and with God’s help, if you are both willing to commit to each other and do the work, you can have a successful marriage.
God will not pick your spouse for you
If you are waiting for God to pick that perfect someone for you, I have some bad news. He will not pick that man or woman for you. You will be waiting for a long time. God will lead, guide, and show us signs, but ultimately it is our choice. However, many people believe this great myth that there is only one right person for them. It is my honest opinion that there are multiple people in one’s life whom God would say it’s okay for you to marry. There are also many that God would absolutely disapprove of. There are multiple opportunities that God might have shown you, but you probably said ‘No.’ All of these exhaustions grow out of our concern for the trend that tells us to search endlessly for the perfect someone. There are many dangers in thinking this way, and it gives us false hope. In the end, it is your choice, your preference and your decision. You will have to choose for yourself, and God will only provide the data that you need to make that decision.
The Bible says that God put Adam to sleep, took one of his ribs and made a woman. When Adam woke up out of his sleep, he beheld this beautiful woman in front of him. He did not waste any time and was excited about what he saw and said, “She is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. I will call her woman because she was pulled out of a man.” Adam was the only person who woke up from a long sleep and found the perfect woman on display in front of him. He still had to make a choice to take her as his bride. I know most of you are thinking that Adam had no choice because she was the only woman available. Well she was pure holy and under an open heaven. They had no sin in their life, and so rejecting a perfect gift was not an option. Adam took her to be his wife because he wanted her, not because God gave her to him. It was his choice also to choose.
The Bible uses language like “Abraham took a wife,” and “Judah took a wife.” (Genesis 25:1; 38:2.) There is no record in the Bible, New or Old Testament, of anyone sitting on their butt, expecting God to send that perfect person into their life. The precedent that the Bible sets is that of men going out and finding their wives.
Some of you are waiting for God to hand pick that man or woman and deliver him or her to you. Every wedding that I have attended I find it interesting how some of these couples actually met. I remember a couple whom my wife and I met that had a very interesting story. The wife told us that she met her husband through a car accident; how ironic is that. The man did not stop at the stop sign, and he ran into her car. She was angry and was up in the man’s face as if she was ready to fight him. During this whole ordeal, the man was very calm and polite because he knew he was wrong. He offered to fix her car without going through their car insurance company and so they exchanged numbers and information. She said the man got her car fixed, which she was very happy about.
A few months had past and he called her and asked how she was doing and how was her car. She did not initially remember who he was, and he reminded her about the accident. After talking for a while, she told him that one of the things that she remembered and admired most about him dealing with the accident was how calm he was when she was cursing him out. She apologized for her behavior, and he asked her out on a date; she accepted. They started to go out regularly and a relationship started between them. They dated for six months and got married shortly afterward. They are still together to this day. Some of you are saying, well it was ordained by God. There are a lot of ordained plans of God that will not be carried out because people are afraid to take action. Stop waiting on God to do all the work; you must be willing to put your faith into action. Of course, God knows the future, and He knows what we need, but we must act in faith, in order for His promises to be fulfilled in our lives.