My Husband Needs Help

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November 21, 2017
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November 21, 2017

I get this statement a lot from wives who are frustrated with their husband and their lack of maturity and responsibilities in the marriage. Some of these wives are just tired of trying. In most cases, this is because they do not fully understand their role in the marriage. Husband and wives were given a different role to fulfill God’s plan for marriage. When these roles are not properly understood it causes conflict.  Here are five reasons God created you to be his help.

Wives, this post is not about why you have to change everytime your marriage needs fixing. This is what you are called to be has a wife. You are his Helpmate and your influence is needed in his life more than he wants to admit. 

1. You Complete Who He Is As A Man

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. Genesis 2: 18,22

God’s creative work was not complete until he made the woman. God could have made her from the dust of the ground like he did Adam. God chose to create her from the man flesh and bone. The woman is the crowning jewel of creation. Men think they are, but it is you, ladies. Without you, this world would be a dull and ugly place.

You Complete who he is has a man. The man gives life to a woman; the woman gives life to the world.

2. You Are His Help

Many wives have asked me to help their husbands understand their role in the marriage. I have worked with a lot of men through teaching and mentoring them on how to become better in their position as husband and fathers. However, I would like to say to the wives that you have more influence in bringing out the best in your husband than any other person can. It is your responsibility to help your husband understand his purpose. To do so, you have to understand who he is has a man. People are often looking on the outside for help when the first source of help comes from God. God knew that your husband was going to need you. God created you with the acumen necessary to help him get to his destiny. You are his chief helper. You should be praying, encouraging him, edifying him and sexually fulfilling your commitment to your husband. Everything else such as books, counseling, mentorship, and focus group should be in addition to what you are already doing. It is time for wives to understand their purpose in the marriage.

“Let me impress upon you that helper according to the bible does not mean you are your husband maid. Your title is so unique and valuable that God waited until the man work and established everything on earth before God created you. God wanted to make sure the man is giving you something to work with”

3. Husband And Wife Don’t Compete; They Complete Each Other

Marriage is not a competition among husband and wife. It is a union between two people who made a vow to honor each other. Man and woman were made for each other. Both of you need each other to complete God’s plan on earth. One of the major causes why so many men are miserable and frustrated in their marriage, the wife is not in the marriage to help the husband. A lot of women see advantages in the reason they should get married, but their reasons and motives are wrong. Some are using marriage to help themselves. Marriage is about working together. Husband and wife working as a team to accomplish both of their worthwhile goals, dreams, and aspirations. I am speaking to the wives, but this does not mean the husband is exempt from his responsibilities.

If your perception of your responsibility as a wife is not clear, you will have a faulty view of the marriage. Instead of being his partner, his lover, and best friend, she sees her husband as her completion. This attitude causes her to become the opposition, not cooperating with the design plan of God to be her husband help. When this type of behavior is experience in marriage, it becomes a launching pad for two opposing force to start a major conflict in the marriage.

4. Your Husband Destiny Is Tied Into You

A lot of men are missing out on the real purpose God blessed them with great wives because of pride. It is a setup by the devil. Husband need you that a fact I want to make very clear to you. Please don’t think he does not need you in his life. He will say these words when he’s angry, but deep down he needs his wives. His destiny is tied into you.

God created the man,  he was alone and then God created the woman by taking a rib from the man. After the woman was created God present the woman to the man. Notice what God did he gave the woman to the man. This is so powerful. I am writing this with a lot of emotion. Ok, let me help you understand this statement a little better. Anything that God gives to us it is good. the woman was given to the man. You are the best gift your husband will ever have. There are so many qualities that were placed inside of you that is lacking in the man.

Here is a very important fact, the man has the seed, and the woman has the womb. Do you see how important you are to God creative plan? The man is not designed to carry his seed. He needs you; he needs your womb. You are his incubator and his seed carrier. Your role is very important to his destiny. It does not matter how much each wants to give birth to his seed, he cannot do it by himself he needs his wife, he needs his Rib. You don’t need a man to have a baby, all you need is his seed. You are designed to give life to what is inside of him.


When your husband talks to you about his goals, dreams, visions, and plans, you know how to help him bring it to past. You will remember what he told you long after he forgets about it.  

What Does A Helper Look Like

So the question is, “What does a helper look like?” Now, the assumption, ladies, is that if God expects you to help your man, the understanding is your man needs help!. Admittedly, men are not complete in and of themselves. That’s the purpose God created women. So, if you are finding fault with your man, he needs help; and guess who the helper is. If you are saying, “My man is messed up!” Guess who the helper is. You cannot complain that he is not what he ought to be if you’re not fulfilling your role as the helper! God made you the helper because man desperately needs help. He desperately needs someone to come alongside who will be different than him, to complete him, thereby fulfilling the Divine plan of God. When faults of your husband show up, there are opportunities for you to fulfill your scriptural duty. Not simply to fuss and cuss about how messed up he is, but to analyze the kind of helper God has called you to be. In fact, if you are the complete opposite of your husband, wonderful! That means you can fill in all the blank spots where he needs help. That’s not an opportunity for you to be frustrated with him, but an opportunity for godly assistance. You are the one to help mold and shape him into the man that God ultimately wants him to be in order to carry out the agenda of the household.

Wives are not designed to make a man out of their husband, but God knew he needed you to bring him to his Greater. He needed help and God sent You.

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