This should not be your position when things get tough in your marriage. These are the moments when your marriage vows should be at the forefront of your mind. This is the moment when everything that you make a covenant about is tested. So you thought that this moment would never come, well you are wrong; they happen to every marriage. If your marriage was never tested and you are going through now, welcome, we have been there. If you have never been through anything that tests your marriage, be prepared; it will come. Let me just caution you that problems in marriage do not always mean infidelity, cheating, etc. It can be anything; you just don’t know what it will be, and no one is ever prepared for what is going to happen. No one is expecting anything to happen. When problems do come, there should be no running back to your father and MAMA. The reasons why you leave in the first place is because you want a family of your own, so you leave your mom and dad, get married, and cleave to each other.
Well at least that is how it is supposed to be, but your current situation seems to have you looking to run back home where you came from. If this is not an abusive or life threating situation, I would hope that your mother and father send you back to your first responsibility, which is to your spouse, to work it out. Get those bags back in that house and figure things out. You do not have the right to just get up and leave. This is your new family, this is your new commitment, and this is your personal obligation.
The reason you left home in the first place is because you wanted to spend the rest of your life with each other. She is now your responsibility, he is now your problem, and it’s your job to help each other fix it.
How dare you leave when she needs you the most? Who gives you the right to walk away when you promised to be there through the good times and bad, the highs and the lows, thick and thin, ups and downs? When did you get so weak minded that as soon as trouble hits you run for the hills?
I have news for both of you: Go figure things out. You don’t have the right to walk away unless you have exhausted everything you have gotten and some more and yet some more. Did you pray to God and ask him for help? Did you own up to your responsibility and the role you play as to why you are here? Did you seek advice and talk about your problems? Did you attack the problem or you both set up to attack and destroy each other?
I need to ask both of you a question. How did you get here? What started it? Have you considered that it is impossible for any marital problem to just happen overnight? Where there is a cause, there is an effect, and each person must take responsibility for the problems in a marriage? The Bible says “and the two shall become one flesh”. You are no more two but one. It takes two people to get married but only ONE to get a divorce. Which one of (have) you decided to file? Who is it that decided to walk away? What are you walking away to? Why are you leaving without closure? How can you start the next chapter of your life before finding out if this chapter is one hundred percent closed?
Let me pause for a moment and say this to you: divorce will end your marriage but it did not cause it. If divorce is not the cause of your marital problems, why are you allowing divorce to end it, when you need to figure things out first? It is better to try and fail than to fail without trying.
Don’t allow your emotions and rational thinking to cloud your judgment. Don’t make a permanent decision based on your temporary or vicious cycle of hatred and rage.
The word of God says in Mark 10:9 “What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.” The word asunder means to rip, tear, destroy, and separate. This is what divorce does; it is the murdering or ripping apart of one life. For many of you who have walked through a divorce and are now single or remarried, or whose parents were divorced, or some other loved one, the mere mention of the word carries a huge weight of sorrow and loss and tragedy and disappointment and anger and regret and guilt. Few things are more painful than divorce. It cuts to the depths of personhood, unlike any other relational gash. It is emotionally more heart-wrenching than the death of a spouse. Death is usually a clean pain. Divorce is usually a dirty pain. In other words, the enormous loss of a spouse in death is compounded in divorce by the ugliness of sin and moral outrage for what was done to you.
Relationships are emotionally overwhelming, taxing and a high investment on both parties. It takes the very best and very worst of individuals. Husbands are supposed to be strong supporters and a healthy masculine presence in a relationship, but even a good husband can become emotionally overwhelmed and consumed by their intense bottled up emotions. Wives are supposed to be loved and taken care of. She is to respect and honor her husband; this can be a big problem when both partners are not following the principle of Godly marriage.
Before you run to the courthouse for a divorce, please run to the prayer house first. Go into your War Room and put all your issues before God. Run to God.
Let me pray for you. Father, in the name of Jesus, I pray for everyone who is going through hardship in his or her marriage. I am asking you to bless them in Jesus name. Help them to know that their spouse is not the enemy in the marriage; the devil is, and he will use their spouse to create chaos in their marriage so they can destroy each other marriage. I pray that you will help them to know that if they trust you with their marriage, you can help them through the Holy Spirit and your Word. In Jesus name, Amen.