5 Myths Might Be Keeping You Single
1: I Am Waiting For My Soulmate.
The common idea of a “soul mate” is that for every person, there is another person who is the one and only “perfect fit,” and if you marry anyone other than this soul mate, you will never be happy. Is this concept of a soul mate biblical? No, it is NOT. And it is one of the principal reasons for most singles missing good opportunities for marriage. This myth is responsible for many married couples ending their marriage thinking they married the wrong person. The Soulmate phenomena got started during the early part of the 21st Century and became popular through Hollywood movies and books.
The bible talked about Adam and Eve becoming one flesh; however, that only took place after they got married. Marriage unifies two people as one.
With close to eight billion people in the world, how could there be just one suitable person out there for you? God does not believe in fairy tales and neither should you. The truth is, there is more than one person out there who will fit the profile for what you are looking for in a mate. I want to caution you that because someone matched your blueprint for a mate does not mean they qualify. You have to put them through what I call The Relationship Appraisal Process. I have heard people say I found my soulmate; this is it, she/he is the one. Then a few years in the marriage they get a divorce. If that person is your soulmate, then you should not be thinking about divorcing the ONLY person who is the only connection to your soul.
God will not find your spouse for you. I think you will be waiting for a long time. God will show you choices that fit what you are looking for in a mate, but it is your responsibility to make your decision. You have to know what you want; if you don’t, how are you supposed to get it? Don’t try to manipulate God by thinking He is going to do all the work. We are free-will creatures; God gives us a choice to choose. God did not force us to love him; we have to love Him with a willing heart. Neither did He force us to accept His son as our Lord and Savior. That is something we have to do freely. Why then do we believe that God is going to pick our mate for us? Isn’t salvation more important than getting married? Marriage is a choice, not an obligation. Most people who believe that God is going to find them a mate are often the ones who leave their spouse as soon as things start to go wrong. They say they got a vision from God to get married and then they also got a vision from God to get a divorce. You Say God gave you that man/woman; so how is it that you end up in a divorce? God is too wise to make a mistake and if He gives you a mate you still have to do the work to make the marriage work.
I know this might sound contradicting to number three, but it is not. I believe that God does play a role in positioning people to find each other. He will help you to find the one who has great qualities. He will put them on display for you to see. In other words, some of us were at the right place at the wrong time or wrong place at the right time when we encountered the one who we ended up marrying. God presented the opportunity for us, and we took advantage of it.
Here are some of the issues people have today with finding a mate. You have a blueprint in mind of what you want in a mate, and that might not be what God wants for you. You want him 6 feet 5inhes tall, and God saw a better choice in 5 feet 6inhes tall. In your flesh you are looking, lusting and desiring a tall man and God saw a better opportunity in a shorter man. Because you will not compromise what your ideal man should be, when Mr. 5 feet 6 inches tall came and presented himself to you, you turned him down.
You want her with long legs, big butt, large breast and long hair; or you want them the opposite. That is your ideal woman, but God saw a better choice in a small butt, smaller, breast, shorter legs and kinky hair. Or, God sees a better selection of a woman who is more proportion. You are so big on what you want, you did not focus on the one who could have become the right mate. The problem is, most of the features and things people are looking for in a mate are not what defines a suitable mate. The character of a person is more important than good looks. Beauty is important, but it can only take you so far. God is never going to give you what you want; he will give you what you need. But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19.
Your flesh did not want what God has for you. Some of you see these same people around your community. They are married now and are happy living their life with someone else when it could have been you. And please don’t tell me it was not God’s will; maybe it was.
I remember the time when two people would fall in love and were willing to work together and build something special. They started out with nothing, only their love for each other, their commitment to God and their willingness to work for what they want. They work together as a team, respecting and honoring their marriage vows and building their life together. We are now living in a culture where everything must be ready-made. Everyone wants to be on the mountaintop, but they don’t want to climb up from the valley.
I am not saying you must date or marry a man or woman who don’t have two nickels to rub together. If you are a man and looking to be married, you must have a plan.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22.
This means that a man goes looking for a wife when he is ready to get married. A boy or a male don’t get married; a man does, because a man is responsible for his wife. He who finds a wife; you are not a girlfriend material; you are a wife in waiting. You are not a wife when you get a ring; you are a wife even when you are single. Being a Wife is not a title, it is part of who you are.
Some of the best marriages are the ones which the couples work together to build their life and wealth. With all this pre-nuptial agreement going on most couples don’t have the passion for working together. They already come into the marriage with an escape clause, and it only takes one mistake or misunderstanding for them to use it.