Husband Love Your Wife as Christ Loves The Church
God gave us a blueprint for a successful marriage through His Word. I am still confused as to why most Christians would leave the Word of God and try to build a successful marriage on their own. If marriage is a God idea, then the creator of the product has a blueprint or manual on how to make the product work effectively. God has a designed plan on how to build a successful marriage. The Apostle Paul in his writing to the church in Ephesian wanted to clear up the conflict that was going on in the church concerning marriage. There is a specific role that husband and wife were assigned to from creation and that role helps to bring order and unity to marriage. And so Paul wrote to the church in Ephesians chapter 5 teaching both husband and wife how to approach marriage. This is one of the most profound and spiritual ways that a husband must love his wife.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. Ephesians 5:25
The Apostle Paul devotes a lot of time telling husbands how to love their wives and it would seem as if he spent little or no time to instruct the wives how to submit to their husbands. I think Paul put more emphasis on the husband loving his wife because the husband is the head of the home and it is nearly impossible for a wife to be rebellious against her husband who loves, respects and honors her. It is hard for a woman to respect and submit to a man who disrespects her and abuses her. To a husband who shows her love, respect, and honor, it is a lot easier for her to submit to him. Since God created the man to lead the woman, it is not by accident that a lot of the responsibility falls on the husband to lead. You are the head of the house as Christ is the head of the church. There is a similar correlation between the two, and that is why Paul used this example.
How then should a husband love his wife? I want to touch on a few key points that will help both the husband and the wife understand how important each of their roles helps to build a successful marriage. This blog is speaking directly to the husband. However, wives can learn from it too.
1: He Should Be Willing To Sacrifice Everything For Her
The Bible says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her”. Ephesians 5:25.
The way a man loves his wife should be a reflection of how Christ loves the church. The question then is how does Christ love the church? Christ loves the church with an unconditional love. As human beings, we have a condition called sin, and it is the cause of our fall from grace. The bible says that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. We had and still have a sin condition, but God’s unconditional love for us sent Christ to the cross to die for our sins.
Every married couple enters their marriage with conditions. Some of these conditions are more serious than others. Some of them did not surface until after the wedding. Husbands are expected to love you in spite of those conditions. A wife is supposed to love her husband in the same manner. To love someone unconditionally means you are loving them with their condition. This is how Christ loves the church, and this is how God wants us to love our wives. I know most men are concerned with this kind of commitment. Let me express to you that this is not for the world. Hollywood doesn’t teach you to love this way, and society doesn’t teach love and marriage on this level. Marriage is a God thing, and every wife has a responsibility to honor her husband and not take advantage of him. Because such high regard is placed on us as husbands to love our wives, does not gives our wives the right to dishonor us and treat us disrespectfully.
2: She Is of Primary Importance To You
No one should come before your wife. Not your mama, father, sisters, brothers, friends, sports, works, business, ministry and church. Your wife is the most important person in your life now. I submit to you that if you are successful in all these areas and not successful in your marriage, you are not a success at all. God will never bless you with a ministry and allow it to destroy your marriage. Neither will He give you a gift that will replace his presence. If you a serving in the church, do not put your ministry before your wife. And if your pastor has a problem with this, you might need to find another church. It is easier for God to replace a Pastor, Bishop, Elder, Apostle, and Deacon in the church than for God to replace you at home. Wherefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one. You now have a family and responsibility of your own. For this reason, you leave and cleave. Please don’t think that I am against severing in ministry. I serve under my pastor, but my first ministry is my marriage and family. If God calls you to ministry, then you need to create a balance. Don’t gain a ministry and lose your family, don’t gain a ministry and lose your marriage, that’s not God.
Christ did not put anything before the church and you too as a husband must not allow anything to come between you and your wife.
3: Love, Honor and Cherish Her
That He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, That He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. Ephesians 5:26-27
Christ’s death makes the church holy and clean. He cleanses us from the old ways of sin and sets us apart for his special sacred service. When a man loves his wife, she feels pure and worthy of him. She feels naked and not ashamed of her love and affection for him. He leads her into worship; he prays for her and covers her; he pours into her and compliments her. He pays close attention to the little details and shows her how dedicated he is to her. When something goes wrong, he is not judgmental. Both husband and wife talk about it and come to a solution to their problems. It is easy for her to show him the areas in her life that she feels vulnerable. She can trust him with her brokenness and flaws. He will not judge her; he will add value to her life. He is the priest of his home, and her wellbeing is his top priority.
4. Love Your Wife As You Love Yourself
So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. Ephesians 5: 28-29
Part of verse 28 says “He who loves his wife loves himself.” Every husband needs to pay close attention here. In the Genesis account, God put the man to sleep and created the woman. When Adam woke up and saw how beautiful the woman was, he spoke right into her spirit and said “You are bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. I will call you woman because you came out of me. The man’s wife is a part of who he is; when you get married you are reuniting with what came out of you. Your wife is a more defining and beautiful image of yourself.
How do you love yourself? How do you take care of yourself? The same way you treat yourself, is how you will treat your wife? If you love and care for yourself, then it should be easy for you to love and care for your wife. You cannot give to your wife what you don’t have of yourself. If you have a low self-image, you are most likely to treat your spouse base on how you treat yourself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. Ephesians 5:29.
When a husband calls his wife disrespectful names, he is calling himself those names too. Your wife is a part of who you are and how you treat her is also based on how you treat yourself.
5. Loving Your Wife As Your Own Body
So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; Ephesians 5:28
You will take pride, interest, and care of something you love. That only makes sense. If you take good care of your car, it’s going to run better. If you take good care of your business it will return a better profit. Take good care of your body, and it will stay in better health. Take good care of your wife, and she will be a better helpmate and better suitable to please you in every area of your life.
The biblical understanding of marriage is a radical one, and it confuses a lot of people, both believers and non-believers alike. Marriage is not simply a relationship between two people. Marriage is seen in the bible as unity between husband and wife. THEY ARE NO LONGER TWO, BUT ONE. (Matthew 19:6)
Every husband should love his wife as his own body (Ephesians 5:28). It is our nature to care for our body out of practical necessity. You cannot function without your body. For your body to carry you, you have to take very good care of it. You depend on our body to take you where you want to go. You depend on your body for everything you do. If you expect your body to serve you, then you have to commit to serving your body by caring for it.
You cannot take care of yourself without caring at the same time for your body, for you and your body are one.
So it is with your wife. You are one with her. Your love for your wife is an expression of your love for yourself. It springs from your unity, and your honest self-interest. When you are interested in yourself it allows you to show interest in others.
The Bible says that God’s intention in creating woman was to provide A fitting helper for man (Gen. 2.18). It is not a role imposed by culture or society. It is a God-ordained calling which harmonizes with God’s purpose for her. It synchronizes to the rhythm of her existence and syncopates to her nature as a woman.
A husband who loves his wife will take care of her so she can fulfill this calling. It is a calling that will bless him; it is also a calling that will bring her fulfillment. This goes hand in hand with her God-created nature. Her husband wants fulfillment for her as he wants it for himself; he loves her as his own body.
Here is the message “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church.” “Husbands, love your wives as you love your own body.” “Husbands, love your wives as you love yourself.” It’s all about L-O-V-E, it does not get any clearer than that. This kind of love can only manifest through the spirit and will of God. The physical man cannot love from this level. It is a spiritual thing, it is a God thing.